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Spouse Hesitant

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Posts: 20
Premium Member
Topic starter
(@hjsportsed)
Eminent Member
Joined: 8 months ago

Has anyone had to convince a hesitant spouse that moving to Portugal is a good thing in the long run? If so, any advice? Anyone ever left a spouse or moved over solo until the spouse could/would make it over?

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Posts: 80
Premium Member
(@midlifecrisis)
Trusted Member
Joined: 9 months ago

Have you had an extended stay together yet? Let them live the life in a nice location, show them that they can get anything they need and speak to people hear face to face if possible. My view is that you need to make the decision jointly otherwise the person who "lost" may always be resentful.

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Premium Member
(@hjsportsed)
Joined: 8 months ago

Eminent Member
Posts: 20

@midlifecrisis No, we have not been there yet. Hoping early 2022.

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Posts: 189
 Ralf
Premium Member
(@ralf)
Estimable Member
Joined: 1 year ago

Well, I would start with the fact that Portugal is one of the safest countries on earth. Also, lots of sun and some beautiful beaches. Or perhaps river beaches are more of an appeal. And then there is the killer food. 

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Posts: 339
Premium Member
(@jeanne)
Reputable Member
Joined: 2 years ago

It depends on the reason for the hesitancy. If it's one of the aspects that @Ralf highlights, well start there.   If it's something else, direct your efforts in that direction.  Maybe your spouse just has an uneasy feeling about it, and if that's the case then talk through what the specific underlying concerns are. 

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Premium Member
(@hjsportsed)
Joined: 8 months ago

Eminent Member
Posts: 20

@jeanne I think it probably stems from not wanting to leave her parents behind, which I can understand. I would be leaving my parents behind as well, but I would think they would want us to be happy and not feel like we were being held back.

 

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Posts: 339
Premium Member
(@jeanne)
Reputable Member
Joined: 2 years ago

Have you discussed the possibility with either set of parents?  You say you 'think' they would want something, but have you actually asked them outright what they would think?  I worked overseas for decades and yes, I missed friends and family, but many of them took advantage of the situation to come for an extended visit.  Some of them came every year. The most difficult situation is when there's a family emergency and you are far away. 

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