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Spouse Hesitant

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Posts: 21
Premium Member
Topic starter
(@hjsportsed)
Eminent Member
Joined: 3 weeks ago

Has anyone had to convince a hesitant spouse that moving to Portugal is a good thing in the long run? If so, any advice? Anyone ever left a spouse or moved over solo until the spouse could/would make it over?

33 Replies




Posts: 179
Community Member
(@aspidistra)
Estimable Member
Joined: 3 months ago

I have been thinking about this subject in general, the urge to up sticks and settle in a new country. I know for myself it had always been attractive and I have worked abroad from time to time. When I was younger, I always hoped the place I went to was THE country, a sort of home that felt more like home than my place of birth. 

Now, I feel most of that is a state of mind. There is always that thing that people say about when you travel you still take yourself with you. I think sometimes people think to settle elsewhere because they think it will change them and the ghosts they live with. I think it can change people but indeed if there were problems back home, they follow you.

I am always amazed that there are some, North Americans in particular, who are interested in moving to countries they have never visited. I am not sure whether it shows a truly adventurous spirit, or a desire to find something elsewhere that they really need to find in themselves.

That is absolutely not criticising anyone who is planning to do just that, settle in a country they don’t know, it is just something I was musing on this morning, home being a state of mind.

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1 Reply
Premium Member
(@hjsportsed)
Joined: 3 weeks ago

Eminent Member
Posts: 21

@aspidistra There are many reasons I want to move to Portugal though I have never been there, but I do plan to visit before moving. I like the lower cost of living, the cheaper health coverage, and the safety of the country. I also look forward to a fresh start, almost a rebirth if you will. I understand your problems can follow you over, but I think a new perspective and environment can help with those. I also look forward to moving from the US and its division and political gridlock and corruption. I know I have heard Portugal has its share of corruption as well. There is no perfect place, but I do not want to spend the rest of my days being unhappy without taking a chance to find that happiness somewhere else. If it works out, GREAT! If not, move on to another locale. From everything I have seen about the country, it sounds great. I know it has its issues like any country, but the pure beauty of the country, at least for me, can help me overcome those other issues.

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Posts: 193
VIP Member
(@christopherdouglas)
Estimable Member
Joined: 13 years ago

Hi Herbie,

As you yourself seem to have not actually been to Portugal, how on earth can you persuade your spouse to actually up sticks and move here?

How about visiting for a couple of weeks, just to get the feel of Portugal, no commitment, just a bit of a look.

You haven't said where you are looking at, Portugal is a vastly different country travelling from North to South.

We spent 5 years looking at properties, areas, on the internet, we visited 5 different areas during summer and Christmas each year. The change from summer to Winter can be huge in some areas.

Its a beautiful country, with lovely people but, not a move to be taken lightly 😗

All the best,

Chris

 

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6 Replies
Premium Member
(@hjsportsed)
Joined: 3 weeks ago

Eminent Member
Posts: 21

@christopherdouglas I hope to make it to Portugal early next year. We have a blind/deaf diabetic dog that my wife will not leave with anyone, thus she will not be able to make it over until we no longer have pets (Dog is 15). We are both similar in tastes, so I am hoping by at least me making it over, we should be able to have some idea where might be a good landing spot for us. We are from the Midwest USA, so cold doesn't bother us much. We would rather have a little cooler weather than blistering heat and humidity. Would be nice to be close to the ocean as well. I wish I had the patience to visit five times before pulling the trigger, but I don't think I can wait that long.

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VIP Member
(@christopherdouglas)
Joined: 13 years ago

Estimable Member
Posts: 193

@hjsportsed Hi Herbie,

Very best wishes to your wife, no name? , and understand about your situation 👍

We had a deaf dog who visited Portugal with us and then moved here.

You probably don't want to look at Southern Portugal then!

We are in eastern central Portugal, 20 miles from Spain, and we have 0% in winter ( for two months) and 40% in July/,August. Its VERY Portuguese, which is what we came here for.

Yes, the costal regions will be cooler , Aveiro down to Figeiro de foz is probably a safe bet 👍

Presumably you are looking at a residential property. Not a farm or land?

The agent websites Re-Max & Era are worth looking at for property.

Don't go for a private guy, property sales have to be done through the local authority. You can't just buy from an owner! 

All the best,

Chris & Hellen

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Premium Member
(@hjsportsed)
Joined: 3 weeks ago

Eminent Member
Posts: 21

@christopherdouglas Thanks for the advice. I wouldn't mind something with a little bit of property, but until I get there, no idea. Will be nice to get there to see all the areas I have heard so much about and feel the vibe of each.

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Community Member
(@sonia)
Joined: 4 months ago

Trusted Member
Posts: 72
Posted by: @christopherdouglas

@hjsportsed Hi Herbie,

Don't go for a private guy, property sales have to be done through the local authority. You can't just buy from an owner! 

All the best,

Chris & Hellen

I'm curious, why do you say this?

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Community Member
(@aspidistra)
Joined: 3 months ago

Estimable Member
Posts: 179

@sonia yep, A bit confusing, I am buying privately through an owner. I don't know what the poster means by it being done through a local authority?

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Community Member
(@sonia)
Joined: 4 months ago

Trusted Member
Posts: 72

@aspidistra I also didn't understod, hope the poster explains what he means

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Posts: 10
Premium Member
(@misticjeff)
Active Member
Joined: 1 year ago

Sometimes you have to do what may be the best/correct decision for yourself.  I'm 56, my father is 91 with no signs of slowing down. I currently see him twice a year, my sister lives about 3hrs away from him by car. He understands that I have my own life to live, and while sad that i'll be moving, he's ok with it.  I told him i'll still see him twice a year and since i'm retiring, would actually be able to spend Christmas/New Years with him.

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3 Replies
 Ralf
Premium Member
(@ralf)
Joined: 7 months ago

Estimable Member
Posts: 103

@misticjeff Ailing parents are all that has kept me from Portugal. But at some point, I am going to go anyhow. I can always fly back to see them if things get dire and they need help for a few months. Still, makes it tough, and I feel guilty thinking of being so far away from them. Ugh.

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Premium Member
(@hjsportsed)
Joined: 3 weeks ago

Eminent Member
Posts: 21

@ralf Is a tough call. I live in Indiana and my parents live in Arizona. I have not seen them going on two years now due to the pandemic. So, I guess a few hours more by plane by me moving to Portugal won't be a huge change.

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Premium Member
(@hjsportsed)
Joined: 3 weeks ago

Eminent Member
Posts: 21

@misticjeff That sounds like a good plan.

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